2 years

It has been over two years since my last post - the post where I explained that Aidan was going to be born 10.5 weeks early, that my pregnancy was over, that life was changing in ways I couldn't even begin to imagine. And not only from the perspective of being a new parent - but the perspective of being a new parent to a preemie, a woman whose pregnancy was cut short, who was robbed of the chance to watch her baby grow insider her, to be miserable in those last weeks of pregnancy, to go into labor, and birth her baby as a mother should. I was a mother who was no longer pregnant, who had difficulty coming to terms with that fact, and who felt like she missed out on so many aspects of being a mother. While I had my precious boy - alive, healthy as a 29-weeker can be, and progressing every day in his fight to come home - I was missing something.

This 'loss' if you can call it that - has really had an impact on me. It has made he interested - in an almost obsessive way - with pregnancy, normal and abnormal pregnancy - with labor and delivery, with the thought of another chance at having a normal pregnancy and a full term (or full-er term) baby.

While we have no intentions of having another one anytime soon (think years here) - I have been doing a lot of reading and researching. I plan to post some of that information, as well as the ways in which I go about making myself more informed, more prepared, and healthier - for the second time around. I also hope to use this as a way to vent some of the feelings that I have surrounding my preterm delivery and the ways in which it has changed/affected me.